The 5 Universal Characteristics of a Real Friend

As the daughter of a diplomat, I grew up on three continents, having to make new friends constantly. It never bothered me because it was my norm. I remember moving from South Korea to South Africa at age thirteen and being curious about the friends I'd make. 

I have lived on five continents and formed friendships in French, Spanish, and English with people from twenty-seven countries of different religions, genders, ages, and social statuses.

Here are my five universal characteristics of what makes a real friend.

Whole

They don't pretend. They share their failures and wins, encouraging you to share yours. You can be yourself without fear of judgment. 

Honest

They communicate how your actions make them feel, whether positive or negative. They gently hold you accountable, respect your boundaries, and if they make a mistake, have no problem apologizing, leaving no space for resentment.

Supportive

They're fully present when you are going through hardship. They don't pass judgment on your mistakes. Instead, they provide wise advice in the hope of helping you get back on your feet. Seeing you win makes them happy. 

Protective

They value your friendship and, therefore, protect it at all costs. They stand up for you, don't let rumors affect their perception of you, and keep your secrets to themselves.

Funny

Friendship can be heard in a laugh. It's loud, authentic, and awakens the inner child. Real friends are alchemists who can turn a painful experience into a joke.

I'll leave you to reflect on the words of Maya Angelou.

"Most people really don't become friends. They become deep and serious acquaintances. But in a friendship, you get to know the spirit of another person, and your values coincide. Friends may disagree, but not about serious matters."